Soccer is experienced passionately and has a significant cultural meaning. The popularity of soccer-related puns can now be seen among fans, even in placards and social media accounts. It is incredible how much joy puns can provide combining soccer terms, names of soccer players, and soccer-related situations around the world.
The lexicon of soccer has become one place containing a plethora of puns, such as the “Messi situations” and “Goalden opportunities”. Whether you are a fan that barely watches or goes to every single match, these words add a whole new form of entertainment in the area making even the toughest competitions less serious. It is amusing to use these phrases in social media updates, team brochures, and sports stories, whereby the serious competition on the pitch evaporates and the playful side of the game comes out.
140 Soccer Puns
Interesting Soccer Puns
- Life is like soccer – sometimes you need a good kick to score your goals!
- These cleats were made for kick-ing, and that’s just what they’ll do!
- You’re giving me major Mbapp-y vibes today.
- I’m having a ball at this soccer match!
- That was a Messi situation, but we handled it well.
- Don’t worry, I’ve got your defense covered – you might say I’m your Guardian-iola.
- This game has more drama than a Neymar fall!
- You’re really Klopp-ing up the competition!
- That save was simply Buffon-tastic!
- I’m not Ronaldo, but I can still score in life!
- That’s a pretty Keane observation of the game.
- You really need to Pique your performance!
- Stop Roman around and focus on the game!
- That move was absolutely Ter Stegen-ing!
- You’re really Hazard-ous on the field!
- That’s a pretty Schweinsteiger move you pulled there!
- Don’t be such a Busquets about it!
- You’re really Kroos-ing through this match!
- That defense is as solid as a Van Dijk!
- You’re really Sterling on the field today!
- That was a real Zidane-r of a header!
- Stop acting like such a Drogba queen!
- You’re really Ramos-ing through the opposition!
- That pass was absolutely Silva-lining!
- You’re playing like a real Maradona-mite today!
- That shot was Pele-asantly surprising!
- You’re really Beckham-ing a great player!
- That move was totally Cantona-expected!
- You’re really Rooney-ng the competition!
- That goal was absolutely Zlatan-tastic!

“Kickin’ It” Old School: Soccer Jokes
- Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? Because they wanted to tie the score!
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite tea? Penal-tea!
- Why don’t soccer players like cookies? Because they might get a red card for taking too many bites!
- What do you call a soccer player who’s lost his stripes? A referee!
- Why did the soccer ball feel rich? Because it had so many bills (goals)!
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite part of the house? The corner!
- Why did the soccer player take so long to eat? Because he was trained not to use his hands!
- What do soccer players eat before a game? Headers (lettuce)!
- Why was the soccer field so wet? The players kept dribbling!
- What’s a soccer referee’s favorite dessert? A yellow cake!
- Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game? They heard they needed a header!
- What position do ghosts play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper!
- Why don’t soccer players tell jokes during the game? They might crack up the pitch!
- What’s a soccer player’s least favorite music? A defensive beat!
- Why was the soccer ball getting bigger? Because it was getting kicked around!
- What do you call a soccer player in bed? A header!
- Why did the soccer player bring a pen to the game? To draw the defense!
- What’s a soccer player’s favorite dance? The penalty kick!
- Why was the soccer player upset at the library? All the books were about fouls!
- What do you call a soccer player who’s always complaining? A whistle-blower!

Funny Soccer Puns
- I tried to sign up for a soccer team, but they said I didn’t have the balls.
- The soccer player was feeling a bit pitch-y today.
- I’m not saying I’m Messi, but I can definitely make a mess on the field.
- The goalkeeper’s favorite movie? Catch Me If You Can.
- Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- The soccer team’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.
- I heard the soccer ball was deflated… it really let the air out of the game.
- The soccer player was on a roll… until he tripped over it.
- Why was the soccer player upset on his birthday? He didn’t get his kick.
- The soccer player’s favorite dance? The foot-ball.
- Why did the soccer player go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
- The soccer player’s favorite bird? A goal-den eagle.
- Why was the soccer field so hot? Because all the fans left!
- The soccer player’s favorite dessert? Football cake.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like soccer players diving.
- The soccer player’s favorite exercise? Dribbling.
- Why was the soccer player bad at math? He kept kicking the decimal point.
- The soccer player’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortune… or is it Heel of Fortune?
- Why did the soccer player cross the road? To get to the other goal!
- The soccer player’s favorite instrument? The score-dion.
- Why was the soccer player arrested? For dribbling in public.
- The soccer player’s favorite sandwich? A sub.
- Why did the soccer player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to play in a higher league.
- The soccer player’s favorite subject? Kick-ology.
- Why was the soccer player always cold? He was surrounded by fans.
- The soccer player’s favorite fruit? Melon-goal.
- Why did the soccer player go to the art class? To work on his headers.
- The soccer player’s favorite car? A Volley-kswagen.
- Why did the soccer player bring a ruler to the game? To measure his free kicks.
- The soccer player’s favorite tree? An oak… because it’s good at standing its ground.
See also: Funny Cake Puns

One-liner soccer puns
- That striker is always Russian to score.
- He’s not a great player, but he tries his best to Kopa.
- I’m not saying he dives, but he should’ve brought his snorkel.
- That defender is like a brick wall, nothing gets pasta him.
- He shoots, he scores, he Messi’s up the opponent’s plans.
- The referee is like my wife, always calling me out.
- That player is such a ball hog, he must be Ham-sik.
- The goalie’s so good, he should change his name to Block-a.
- That midfielder has great vision, he must eat a lot of Carrasco-ts.
- The coach is so strict, he runs a tight ship… or should I say, a tight pitch?
- That player’s so fast, he must be Bolt-ing down the field.
- The team’s strategy? Lahm-bast the opposition.
- That player’s so good at headers, he must have a 4.0 GPA.
- The ref’s eyesight is so bad, he must think he’s watching tennis.
- That player’s so dramatic, he should win an Oscar… or at least a Puskás Award.
- The goalkeeper’s so tall, he doesn’t save shots, he intercepts planes.
- That player’s so slow, he makes snails look like Usain Bolt.
- The defender’s so tough, he eats nails for breakfast… without any milk.
- That player’s so bad at scoring, he couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.
- The team’s so in sync, they must share one brain.
- That player’s so good at diving, he should compete in the Olympics.
- The referee’s so old, he was there when soccer was invented.
- That player’s so short, he can run between the defender’s legs.
- The coach’s tactics are so confusing, even he doesn’t understand them.
- That player’s so unlucky, if it was raining soup, he’d have a fork.
- The team’s so bad, they couldn’t score in an empty net.
- That player’s so good at holding onto the ball, he must have glue on his boots.
- The goalkeeper’s so bad, he couldn’t catch a cold.
- That player’s so skinny, he has to run around in the shower to get wet.
- The team’s defense is like a sieve, everything gets through.

Soccer Puns for Team Members
- To our goalkeeper: You’re simply un-save-able at stopping those shots!
- Hey striker, you’re goal-den at what you do – keep scoring!
- Our midfielder is like a compass – always pointing in the assist direction!
- To our defender: You’re the Van-guard of our defense!
- Our captain’s leadership skills are Kante be matched!
- The right-winger is always in the right place at the right time – you’re Salah-d gold!
- Our left-back has got the whole team’s Beck!
- The center-back is the Pique of perfection in defense!
- Our substitute striker is always Ready-ng to score!
- Hey coach, you’re the Guardiola-n angel of our team!
- The defensive midfielder is always Kante-rolling the game!
- Our playmaker has got some Modric-ulous skills!
- The team’s forward is always Hazard-ous to opponents!
- Our sweeper keeps the defense Neuer and tidy!
- The attacking midfielder is always Pogba-ing up great opportunities!
- Our winger’s speed is absolutely Mbapp-ening!
- The stopper is always Ramos-ing through challenges!
- Our striker’s finishing is simply Kane-not be stopped!
- The full-back’s crosses are absolutely Sterling!
- Our team captain is the Messi-ah of leadership!

See also: Funny Avocado Puns